HowLyn Cattery Board of Directors Announces Acquisition
Easton, CT -- Friday, April 19, 2002 -- The Board of Directors of HowLyn Cattery proudly announced a major acquisition in the product development realm today. Silver Submarine, of Tabbey Road Cattery, has been retained as a proud member of the breeding program at HowLyn Cattery. Reportably, the cat has negotiated a multiyear six figure salary and benefits package.
Lynn Perlmutter, CEO of HowLyn, is quoted as saying, "I can't believe that he's really here. I only dreamed of this occurring before!" She now spends every night with the kitten, estranging her husband for the younger male. Howard Deiner, Chief Cook and Bottle Washer at HowLyn said, "Yeah. He's good. Got big paws, you know... I even got to look at him while Lynn loosened her grip on him to eat."
There is still a small matter regarding the new cat's unofficial name. Ms. Perlmutter is heard to favor "Silvy." Dr. Barbara Strauss, DVM consultant to the cattery is on record as saying that the name should be "Suby", as that matches her car better, and "Silvy" sounds too feminine. Mr. Deiner has told reporters he was partial to the name "Stinky." On press rebuttal regarding the name, he was silent on on allegations that: 1) he already calls all the other animals in the house by that name and 2) the cat has no odor.
The industry is abuzz with high expectations for Silver Submarine. Ms. Perlmutter is clearing off all walls that receive northern light. "It's the best exposure to show off colors with, and the lack of dye damaging infra-red keeps the colors in the rosettes brighter, and we are going to have a lot of them to protect," Ms. Perlmutter is quoted as saying. She has also begun an exploratory study into the effect of building a new 5000 sq ft addition to the house to hold Scooter's (Stinky's) prodigy. Ms Perlmutter went on to state, "We're expecting big things from him and Amille, and we've only got a year or so to get ready. I'm willing to part with some real capital for this development. Would $150 be about right if we want hardwood floors throughout the new complex? Amille has also written that she wants a private waiting room as well as a full media room. You know, she's really quite advanced for her age, and is considering a run for the US Senate next year."
Statements contained in this release may contain forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995. Forward-looking statements involve risks and uncertainties. In particular, any statements contained herein regarding expectations with respect to future performance, as well as product development and/or introductions, are subject to known and unknown risks, uncertainties, and contingencies, many of which are beyond the Cattery’s control, which may cause actual results, performance, or achievements to differ materially from those projected or implied in such forward-looking statements. Important factors that might affect actual results, performance, or achievements include, among other things, the demand for the Cattery’s goods and services, the mating habits of concerned parties, and the collective moods of the judges, handlers, and cats on show day. You know, any given Sunday, yadda, yadda, yadda. These risks and uncertainties are described in detail from time to time in HowLyn’s filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission, including its Quarterly Report on Form 10-Q. HowLyn accepts no obligation to update these forward-looking statements and does not intend to do so, nor has it ever produced such trivel.